Should A Wannabe Influencer Friend Cease Using Me for Content?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?